Ok, I have taken a Norco, I'm real calm.
You know, this medication definitely has a euphoric effect to it after the pain killing kicks in. I haven't taken one in about a week, as I'm trying to make sure I don't end up with a much bigger problem of addiction at the end of all this. But it definitely enhances the usual happiness I feel at the end of the day when I spend time at home with my daughter, my kitties, and my husband. It's like putting a magnifying glass on my usual "happy" level and turning it up. My daughter always makes me smile and laugh, but when I'm "under the influence," I almost want to break down in tears. I want to share it with everyone. I make a lot of Facebook posts when I'm on the Norco.
The best one tonight? I took a bite of my Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream and nearly fell over with delight. I haven't eaten that kind of ice cream in a long time. Now, I probably would have super enjoyed it anyway because of what my diet has been forced to do lately, but I know that the extra "kick" I felt was due to the Norco.
I had 2 days of colon prep before my colonoscopy a week ago. This time, the cleanse was successful - probably in no small part from the huge amount of laxatives I took three days before, the start of the prep two days before with the liquid diet, and my diligence to just choke down the rest of that drink. I went in to the appointment totally prepared and calm. I was even joking with the nurse who helped me out - it's amazing how different the experience is when you know that to expect, and that you're actually ready!
My gastroenterologist came to see me before they totally drugged me out, and she let me know that my MRI results showed a "long fistulous track." When I think back to my lower-right quadrant abdominal pain that plagued me in late 2014 (see November 2014 posting for details), I now know that it had to be the beginning of this. I have since read my abdominal MRI report and, while not as easy to understand as the brain MRIs now that I am familiar with the terminology, it seems evident that the end of my small intestines has a hole that leads into a pocket of fluid, and down into the dome of my bladder. The entire top of my bladder is inflamed. There is just NO WAY this all started from this past December when I had some abdominal pain for a week - while that might have been the tail end, I can't think that the great pain I had November 2014 is a coincidence. They never found anything, and I think the ultrasound tech was really concerned during that test because she saw something she couldn't understand.
I'm not stupid. I'm a doctor! HIDE YOUR CONFUSED FACE BETTER, PEOPLE!
Otherwise, I am living with things ok. The biggest trouble is what happens after the colon cleanses - I have to be on a liquid diet for a few days, which makes my bladder feel back to normal! Unfortunately as soon as I introduce solid food again, all my bladder symptoms start back up. It really hurts to urinate again; not at the start of the stream, but at the end, like the contraction is painful against all the inflammation. Debris in the urine, and cloudiness, like before my colonoscopy failure a few weeks ago. Today I had sharp and dull pain along the area where I know the fistula is now (coincidence that its the same spot as a few years ago? I think not!) I'm virtually incontinent when I feel an urge to go - when I actually make it to the restroom, my body just stops wanting to hold it, so I have to get my pants off NOW NOW NOW! So embarrassing. Thank God for pads!
So, on to another day! Love to all,
MSloan
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
WTF?!
It didn't work.
This post may be TMI. But if you have ever had a colonoscopy, you will understand.
The bloody stuff didn't work.
The stupid, nauseating, saccharine, thick, disgusting stuff that I drank A GALLON OF didn't work! I went to my colonoscopy and wasn't cleared out! I stayed up all night, got 30 minutes grand total of sleep, and woke up panicked and super anxious. I was terrified they would turn me away and say they couldn't do the procedure today. Somehow I knew.
I got to the hospital alone. My husband dropped me off but had to take our kid to day care. So I walked in, by myself, and rushed up the stairs because he doesn't understand the meaning of "haste" when I told him I wanted to leave the house by 6:40 - not just barely leave by 6:50 and get there right at 7 AM. I wanted to be there early so I could breathe. NOPE. Instead they kept commenting that my blood pressure was high. No shit! I was having a panic attack that everything I had just done for the last three days was worth nothing - the reduction in food, the liquid diet for 24 hours, and the dreaded "colon prep."
What a bloody nightmare.
The upper endoscopy was very uncomfortable, even painful. I do remember it, though it isn't super vivid, thank goodness. I didn't feel like I was choking, just that I had some painful thing stuck down my throat. I even remember the little bit of colonoscopy that they did complete before they told me that my bowel was unclean and they had to abort - that did hurt. But I basically passed out right after that.
I woke up with my doctor telling me they needed to reschedule the colonoscopy. I am only grateful that I was able to get the upper endoscopy done today so it was not a complete waste of my time, energy, or money, as you forfeit the copay when they have to abort the procedure, because you're paying for all the prep and sedation. Nightmarish. And I have a meeting, a very important one, in two days. I am terrified that this will get in the way of all my new plans. I cannot have these issues right now! I am not even 30 years old, for crying out loud!
Now, next week, right after Valentine's day (and highly unlikely that my husband will get laid), I have to start TWO days of completely clear liquid diet and drink TWO gallons of the nauseating stuff. It is by far the worst part. That stuff.... let me tell you, I am a very picky eater, so being forced to down something that disgusting is pretty much my WORST nightmare. I would do anything for a pill instead, or a hundred pills. I would even drink 20 ounces of water every half hour if I had to, but not this stuff. I am just psyching myself out now that it won't work again, too.
What in the world is wrong with my body that I can take FIVE laxative tablets and drink an entire gallon of colon cleansing electrolytes and end up with basically nothing to show for it? Here I am, 24 hours after I began taking that stuff (which is supposed to start working within the hour, and totally clear your bowel out by hour 6) and I am still passing....well, it isn't clear, let's just say that.
I feel so tired. So sick of being sick. The fistula between my bowel and bladder is now leaking the disgusting fluid from the loose stools induced by that stuff. But I am so panicked that next week I will have the same problem that I'm tempted to go on liquid diet until then. Right now I'm going to pretend I'm eating like I just had my wisdom teeth out. I won't be taking any of the vicodin, because that can cause constipation, and I wonder how much of that is my issue now. The sluggish movement of my bowel might very well be part of this problem - and it may not be Crohn's at all.
She did get that endoscopy done, and took biopsies of my stomach and small intestine. Miraculously, my small intestine looked normal. My stomach was "inflamed." I don't know what any of that means and can't find much, other than it might possibly be H. Pylori (the ulcer bacteria).
Pray for me. Pray for my bowels. And pray that between now and next week that my insides move fast enough that I can get this damn test done and move on with my life!
MSloan
This post may be TMI. But if you have ever had a colonoscopy, you will understand.
The bloody stuff didn't work.
The stupid, nauseating, saccharine, thick, disgusting stuff that I drank A GALLON OF didn't work! I went to my colonoscopy and wasn't cleared out! I stayed up all night, got 30 minutes grand total of sleep, and woke up panicked and super anxious. I was terrified they would turn me away and say they couldn't do the procedure today. Somehow I knew.
I got to the hospital alone. My husband dropped me off but had to take our kid to day care. So I walked in, by myself, and rushed up the stairs because he doesn't understand the meaning of "haste" when I told him I wanted to leave the house by 6:40 - not just barely leave by 6:50 and get there right at 7 AM. I wanted to be there early so I could breathe. NOPE. Instead they kept commenting that my blood pressure was high. No shit! I was having a panic attack that everything I had just done for the last three days was worth nothing - the reduction in food, the liquid diet for 24 hours, and the dreaded "colon prep."
What a bloody nightmare.
The upper endoscopy was very uncomfortable, even painful. I do remember it, though it isn't super vivid, thank goodness. I didn't feel like I was choking, just that I had some painful thing stuck down my throat. I even remember the little bit of colonoscopy that they did complete before they told me that my bowel was unclean and they had to abort - that did hurt. But I basically passed out right after that.
I woke up with my doctor telling me they needed to reschedule the colonoscopy. I am only grateful that I was able to get the upper endoscopy done today so it was not a complete waste of my time, energy, or money, as you forfeit the copay when they have to abort the procedure, because you're paying for all the prep and sedation. Nightmarish. And I have a meeting, a very important one, in two days. I am terrified that this will get in the way of all my new plans. I cannot have these issues right now! I am not even 30 years old, for crying out loud!
Now, next week, right after Valentine's day (and highly unlikely that my husband will get laid), I have to start TWO days of completely clear liquid diet and drink TWO gallons of the nauseating stuff. It is by far the worst part. That stuff.... let me tell you, I am a very picky eater, so being forced to down something that disgusting is pretty much my WORST nightmare. I would do anything for a pill instead, or a hundred pills. I would even drink 20 ounces of water every half hour if I had to, but not this stuff. I am just psyching myself out now that it won't work again, too.
What in the world is wrong with my body that I can take FIVE laxative tablets and drink an entire gallon of colon cleansing electrolytes and end up with basically nothing to show for it? Here I am, 24 hours after I began taking that stuff (which is supposed to start working within the hour, and totally clear your bowel out by hour 6) and I am still passing....well, it isn't clear, let's just say that.
I feel so tired. So sick of being sick. The fistula between my bowel and bladder is now leaking the disgusting fluid from the loose stools induced by that stuff. But I am so panicked that next week I will have the same problem that I'm tempted to go on liquid diet until then. Right now I'm going to pretend I'm eating like I just had my wisdom teeth out. I won't be taking any of the vicodin, because that can cause constipation, and I wonder how much of that is my issue now. The sluggish movement of my bowel might very well be part of this problem - and it may not be Crohn's at all.
She did get that endoscopy done, and took biopsies of my stomach and small intestine. Miraculously, my small intestine looked normal. My stomach was "inflamed." I don't know what any of that means and can't find much, other than it might possibly be H. Pylori (the ulcer bacteria).
Pray for me. Pray for my bowels. And pray that between now and next week that my insides move fast enough that I can get this damn test done and move on with my life!
MSloan
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