Well, the flare continues. Bummer!
I had hoped that my run with spasticity and a random MS hug would have been the end of it, but it does appear that my whole body is going through some difficult times right now. From head to toe, I feel like a rubber band that has been stretched too tight - every muscle hurts and it truly has the sensation reminiscent of being "just about ready to cramp." Especially in my calves; I worry when I go to sleep that I will be woken suddenly by strong cramps, so I have been sleeping with my toes pointed straight up so that I don't angle my foot too much outward.
I did a lot of reading today, as I had to stay home from work. I became very sick yesterday evening. I have experienced a lot of abdominal cramping over the past couple of weeks, and it came to a pinnacle yesterday - I was in too much pain to eat more than a few bites of dinner, and I couldn't sleep. I woke in the middle of the night and threw up - something I very rarely do. It's been about 3 years since the last time, and even then it was very similar to this. And four years before that, again a similar situation. I hadn't in 15 years before then.
Things really got me thinking - as nothing I was doing seemed to help (not a single drug I took last night made me feel better), was this possibly related to my MS?
Over the past seven years, I have had a myriad of intestinal issues. Looking back, I always describe my "knowing something was wrong" when I started to suffer from daily, almost constant nausea. As someone who very rarely throws up, being nauseated was like torture. No matter how many times I would mention this to doctors, no one seemed to care. Maybe it was my BC, maybe it was the blind UTI, maybe it was stress...pish posh, something was wrong. Two years later when I developed sudden heartburn that was so severe I couldn't swallow, I was told it was because I didn't eat breakfast.
Oy, to say the least.
Today while researching, I found some information on gastroparesis - and bingo. It matches my symptoms perfectly and explains soooo many of my long lasting issues. So while right now I am still very hungry from having too little today, and my stomach still hurts, I feel closer to an answer. Isn't it strange ho having a reason makes it all so much easier to handle?
Love All,
MSloan
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Friday, June 30, 2017
When Spasticity Strikes Back
Well, it has been a thankful long time since I have felt a need to update my MS blog. Things have been generally well. I quit the job at the sinking ship. I have a new job which will allow me to run my own office very soon - 2 weeks from now, in fact. I won't need to commute from home to work any longer. My daughter is beautiful, smart, and a joy. My husband, despite being left to watch her for several hours as I commute and while I attempt to have a life as a working mother, has no plans to leave me :).
Well, as the weather has proven in the past three weeks in Northern California, it has been bloody hot.
It began about three weeks ago with a particularly hot day. I noticed when I put my baby in the bathtub that as I bent over, I felt the ever-familiar Lhermitte's sign tingling in my feet. It has been about a year since I felt it, briefly, after a long walk. I felt it again and again, every time I moved my head, for about three or four days.
Then, the numbness returned in my legs. Only in pieces, though. Not enough to really raise any red flags.
I had an MS hug earlier this week - started on my left side, tightening beneath my ribcage, then slowly spreading around the front to my right side. By the time I went to bed, I wasn't able to take a full, deep breath without pain. But by morning, it was gone. I figured all of this was due to the heat.
Well, tonight while we were in the grocery store, my husband and I were teasing each other. I specifically remember him poking at my bottom when I suddenly felt a sharp tug in my left foot. It was a cramp. I figured, no big deal, it's just a cramp. But it didn't go away - I had to stop, take off my shoe, and try to massage my foot (in the middle of the store, no less) while I watched my second toe contort as if it was out of place. The muscle contraction was so strong it was moving my toes from the ball of my foot forward! Oh, man, it HURT! I know I seemed like a baby to him, but after five full minutes and no let up, it felt really scary. I couldn't walk on it. I hobbled around one aisle looking for a single item when I gave up and told him I was going to the car.
As I limped out of the store, my left foot started to feel better. However, I was cautious. I called my sister as I had to talk to someone other than my husband, who I am certain thinks I am blowing this out of proportion (I'm not). And guess what? Just as I was looking for my car, dammit if I didn't get a bloody cramp in my other foot! Akkk!!!! I felt like I was being attacked by my own feet. I got in the car and just sat still, massaging my feet and hoping the cramping would stop.
Since we got home, I have been trying to keep off my feet, literally. I am worried that maybe it was my shoes, maybe it was just how I was walking. I feel literally scared of walking right now. I'm afraid if I put weight on my feet, they will spasm. So I am holding still. My anxiety over it is making me walk funny, which I fear will mean I will sprain something. Every time I walk up my stairs, I get a sensation of early cramping in my foot. I am now hating my husband for wanting a house with stairs when I told him a ranch style might be better for my future.
And, I understand better why it may be a good idea to get a handicap placard if it ever happens again. Walking across the parking lot (hobbling, more like) was embarrassing and I just wanted to get to my car.
MS fucking blows. And I was doing so well! Fingers crossed that this was a one-off.
Love, MSloan
Well, as the weather has proven in the past three weeks in Northern California, it has been bloody hot.
It began about three weeks ago with a particularly hot day. I noticed when I put my baby in the bathtub that as I bent over, I felt the ever-familiar Lhermitte's sign tingling in my feet. It has been about a year since I felt it, briefly, after a long walk. I felt it again and again, every time I moved my head, for about three or four days.
Then, the numbness returned in my legs. Only in pieces, though. Not enough to really raise any red flags.
I had an MS hug earlier this week - started on my left side, tightening beneath my ribcage, then slowly spreading around the front to my right side. By the time I went to bed, I wasn't able to take a full, deep breath without pain. But by morning, it was gone. I figured all of this was due to the heat.
Well, tonight while we were in the grocery store, my husband and I were teasing each other. I specifically remember him poking at my bottom when I suddenly felt a sharp tug in my left foot. It was a cramp. I figured, no big deal, it's just a cramp. But it didn't go away - I had to stop, take off my shoe, and try to massage my foot (in the middle of the store, no less) while I watched my second toe contort as if it was out of place. The muscle contraction was so strong it was moving my toes from the ball of my foot forward! Oh, man, it HURT! I know I seemed like a baby to him, but after five full minutes and no let up, it felt really scary. I couldn't walk on it. I hobbled around one aisle looking for a single item when I gave up and told him I was going to the car.
As I limped out of the store, my left foot started to feel better. However, I was cautious. I called my sister as I had to talk to someone other than my husband, who I am certain thinks I am blowing this out of proportion (I'm not). And guess what? Just as I was looking for my car, dammit if I didn't get a bloody cramp in my other foot! Akkk!!!! I felt like I was being attacked by my own feet. I got in the car and just sat still, massaging my feet and hoping the cramping would stop.
Since we got home, I have been trying to keep off my feet, literally. I am worried that maybe it was my shoes, maybe it was just how I was walking. I feel literally scared of walking right now. I'm afraid if I put weight on my feet, they will spasm. So I am holding still. My anxiety over it is making me walk funny, which I fear will mean I will sprain something. Every time I walk up my stairs, I get a sensation of early cramping in my foot. I am now hating my husband for wanting a house with stairs when I told him a ranch style might be better for my future.
And, I understand better why it may be a good idea to get a handicap placard if it ever happens again. Walking across the parking lot (hobbling, more like) was embarrassing and I just wanted to get to my car.
MS fucking blows. And I was doing so well! Fingers crossed that this was a one-off.
Love, MSloan
Friday, January 20, 2017
Welcome To A New Year
Hey all!
I am sorry for my continued absence; turns out, raising a baby when you have MS is very difficult! I find myself getting really exhausted really quickly, I can't stay up past 10 PM most nights, and whenever I get a free moment, I want to play with my daughter, so that leaves little time for blogging. Or reading. Or eating. Or cleaning. I pretty much have no time for anything!
My MS has remained very stable since she was born, though. My right eye is still mostly useless (went dark in December 2015). I am grateful for every day that I don't have a bad symptom. A few months back, I had an honest-to-goodness MS Hug that almost floored me. I really thought I was having a heart attack. The "Hug" (still want to clock whoever came up with that name) began in the middle of my back and spread to my sides. It was painful, as if my muscles were being squeezed, which made it hard to breathe. Lying down made it worse. I called the ER to make sure, you know, I wasn't actually having a heart attack, and they told me that they couldn't really help me.
Which was then topped off by having to explain to several nurses that, yes, MS can cause pain, that it could be the cause of my current predicament, and no, not all people with MS just slowly lose control of their bodies until they can't walk. How nice.
My advice for the new year is thus: focus on the positive. I think my MS is better because I am reducing stress around me as much as possible. Remember that MS is triggered by stress - positive AND negative alike - so don't forget to breathe during the day. You'll get through it!
Love all,
MSloan
I am sorry for my continued absence; turns out, raising a baby when you have MS is very difficult! I find myself getting really exhausted really quickly, I can't stay up past 10 PM most nights, and whenever I get a free moment, I want to play with my daughter, so that leaves little time for blogging. Or reading. Or eating. Or cleaning. I pretty much have no time for anything!
My MS has remained very stable since she was born, though. My right eye is still mostly useless (went dark in December 2015). I am grateful for every day that I don't have a bad symptom. A few months back, I had an honest-to-goodness MS Hug that almost floored me. I really thought I was having a heart attack. The "Hug" (still want to clock whoever came up with that name) began in the middle of my back and spread to my sides. It was painful, as if my muscles were being squeezed, which made it hard to breathe. Lying down made it worse. I called the ER to make sure, you know, I wasn't actually having a heart attack, and they told me that they couldn't really help me.
Which was then topped off by having to explain to several nurses that, yes, MS can cause pain, that it could be the cause of my current predicament, and no, not all people with MS just slowly lose control of their bodies until they can't walk. How nice.
My advice for the new year is thus: focus on the positive. I think my MS is better because I am reducing stress around me as much as possible. Remember that MS is triggered by stress - positive AND negative alike - so don't forget to breathe during the day. You'll get through it!
Love all,
MSloan
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