Keeping A Record

I have been on a path of healing.

My MS symptoms have somewhat come and gone for the last week because I got a cold, but I am fortunate that the signs haven't been worse than some general annoyances with numbness.  It's been well over 10 weeks now with distorted vision in my right eye, and some days are better than others, but because I haven't been able to treat the inflammation I am trying to come to grips with the likely fact that my vision will never be the same again.  As an artist, that's very painful.  But I'm trying to move forward, and not stay stagnant with my feelings.

Facebook can be an excellent record keeper, did you know that?  As I have been getting older, I have become less whiny in general over my circumstances.  But six years ago, I wasn't as disciplined, and I wore my hearing on my social media sleeve, as it were.  Today I went through late 2009 and early 2010, and found a lot of my 'initial symptom' complaints that I keep speaking of - struggles with near constant headaches that felt like migraines, getting glasses, feeling moody and irritable, and as the semester began in early 2010, the nausea.  I used to go through my facebook to find the last time I had complained about my period, only to find I hadn't had one in five months!  As annoying as you might find your 'friends' complaining, keep in mind that it's a way to keep a record.  And it can end up becoming very important if your persistent symptoms lead to a diagnosis down the road.

I started reading a book yesterday called "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" about daughters with narcissistic mothers and learning to heal.  This book describes me and my experience to a T.  I  feel that much more blessed to have found it, and to be able to acknowledge my issues head on before my own daughter makes an appearance.

I hope you find your healing as well.  Love to all,
MSloan