Picking Poison Again

Well, saw the neurologist on Friday.  Or, the PA rather, who is very nice.  Though it seems to be a running theme that people either never meet their doctor, or their doctor doesn't care - this is very frustrating.

I felt like they forgot why I was there.  The whole point of the last three weeks was because I had failed the first round of Solu-medrol, and had to be put on another dosage of steroids for over a week.  Then, we were going to re-do the MRIs, and start Tysabri.  When my JC virus antibodies came back positive (which they were weird about telling me, like I had HIV, which it is my understanding that the JC virus is common) - they had to scrap Tysabri, which was saddening as there is nothing as 'aggressive' at preventing relapses as that drug.

So we are back to the drawing board.

The doc wants me to get on medication ASAP, because the type of symptoms and lesions I have show that my disease is progressing quickly.  Not enough to reclassify me as anything other than R/R, but enough of a concern that we can't just wait to get me treated.  This really upsets me that I feel like I don't understand enough about my own disease to figure it out, and they can't or won't communicate that with me.  It is disturbing to me that when I move my neck forward I have tingles, noticeably worse tingles, running down the back of my legs for as long as I hold the position.  I have a stiff neck, but never had that before the last round of steroids.

This tells me that the likelihood of my failing the second round of steroids?  Might be pretty high.  I feel like crap, my numbness keeps changing in my feet - yesterday I could have walked on hot coals (or worse, loose legos!) and wouldn't have known it.  I don't have any set lesions in my cervical region, at least not on the last MRI, so why I have this problem when my neck is moved is just scary.

They are going to start me on Gilenya for the time being because I'm about to move out of state.  I just love getting guilt tripped by my doctor about how much of a pain in the ass it is because they can't get me started on daily injections if I'm about to move.  Gee, I'm sorry that where I got a job is a pain in the ass FOR YOU.  Here, let's switch places, I'll be the doctor that never meets her patients, and you'll be the broke brand-new AuD with NO MONEY, gross medical bills, and a condition that causes you to not feel your feet and numbs your hands - and you're supposed to move.

Again, sorry that this sucks for you.  But I'm the one with no place to live when I move, no money until I get paid 2 months from now, and a disease that is heavily affected by stress.  ::sarcastic thumbs up::

I ran into a very old friend who I haven't seen since my wedding five years ago - and I am so happy that she is someone I can trust and talk to.  She is getting her PhD at UNC (Carolina) and works in an Immunology lab, after transferring out of an MS lab.  I told her what was going on - she treated it like I do, very scientifically, and went off about a study she once looked at for T-cell receptors and myelin.  I'm so happy that she didn't give me the ridiculous pity look.  If I had seen her more often, I might have broken down in tears over the day's events and being chastised by my doctor for moving - but it's enough to know she knows if I need someone.

That's it for now.  Have to be on the 'weak' drug because it's better than nothing - the PA looked almost panicked that I still wasn't being directly treated.  Will have to hope my insurance will accept another round of MRIs.  And I'm not bringing mom to another appointment - I just can't right now.  Love to all.