Just Keep Swimming

Okay, today I am trying to have a better attitude.

Let's face it, the last few weeks have been one big, bad, crapfest.  We're trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but right now we wouldn't be surprised if that light ended up being a train headed straight in our direction.  I keep having to move things around for work to get these treatments in, and we're just beginning this second round of steroids.

So, where do we go from here?

Well, you have choices.  You can choose to let your MS take over, and resign yourself to your symptoms and experience.  But I feel like I can't do that right now, because as interesting as it is to have a huge white spot show up on my MRI (see picture on blog web page at right), I am not having 'worsened symptoms' right now.  So I don't have that option.  I could also choose to let this scare me into not taking my California job, letting it interfere with my future, and let the fear disable me.

But I refuse to be disabled by my MS.  Until it takes my legs, I will NOT be disabled!  I choose to not let this take over me just yet.  I choose to have control.  I choose to move forward!

So, this means, I choose to make a list of things to do while at my infusion appointments.  I choose to keep looking for an apartment in California, and I choose to make plans to go out and make a decision.  I choose to not be afraid of the next two months, and I choose to have faith that I will be able to get financial help for all of the floodgates that are about to open on my little family.

Today I forced myself to make a choice to think positively.  I may feel differently on Monday after three days of Solumedrol.  But today, I will conquer!
- Margo